Are you getting a divorce? You probably know that you are not alone in this. Every day many couples file for divorce. That does not make it any easier to deal with. The divorce process is very stressful. There are ways to get through it in one piece. Here are some things you can do to get through this stressful time.
- Talk to a divorce lawyer. Even if you are going to try for an uncontested divorce, talking to divorce attorneys can still help you get through the divorce process and they can also help you understand your rights. Additionally, you need to know what not to do during this time to protect yourself. Even if you think you are not going to need a divorce attorney, it is in your best interest to consult with one. You will get a lot of divorce advice but the best advice will come from a divorce attorney.
- Get help from your friends and family. It is normal to be upset and maybe even depressed when you are going through a divorce. This is the time to call upon your personal support network to help you get through this rough time. Talking about the situation with your friends and family can make you feel less alone and make the divorce process a little easier.
- Go to support groups. You are not the only person going through the divorce process. That is why there are support groups. It is always good to talk to friends and family but it is a different experience entirely to talk to other people who are going through the very same thing as you. They understand how you are feeling because they are in a similar boat. It might feel awkward at first but you will find that these groups can be very helpful.
- Plan your future. If you busy yourself with planning for your future, you give yourself less time to dwell on the past. Think about what it is you want to do next. You may find that there were things you could not do because of your marriage and now you can do them. Celebrate that and move forward. If you find yourself dwelling, do this. Set aside a time each week to dwell. Make it an appointment. Say to yourself, “I will dwell on Tuesdays from 3:00 pm to 4:00 pm.” Then if you find yourself dwelling, remind yourself of your appointment. This sounds silly but it works.
- Remember, there are no winners when it comes to the divorce process. If you go into this with the desire to pound your spouse into dust, you will just hurt yourself more. You may be angry. You may have very good reasons to be angry. That does not really matter. You need to be willing to compromise and there is no way you can do that if you are so angry that you just want revenge. If you go into your divorce process understanding that compromise is needed, it will go faster and let you get on with your life.
- Make a list. There are probably things that you really need to get from your divorce. Make a list of those. There is also a number of things that you will want to get but can live without. Make a list of that as well. Having these lists and going through the process of creating them will help you when you have to compromise with your spouse.
- Be careful around your children. If you have children, you should explain what is happening to them. Do not assume that because they are very young that they cannot see what is happening around them. They know something is going on and the situation will be a lot more stressful for them if they do not hear it explained by you. When you are explaining the divorce process, make sure you do not say bad things about your spouse. If they say bad things about you, do not feed into that. They will feel they need to pick sides and no one wants that.
The divorce process sucks. It is stressful and depressing. If you seek out help and support, you will get through it.
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